30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck? I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retain some value after getting wrecked
Who was not happy that the Titanic sank? The fish under it.
A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash
The gay guy says "somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!" . The trucker says "what the fuck did you just say fucker? Get over here I'm gonna wreck your ass!" . The gay man then says "it's okay everybody don't call he police! He wants to negotiate"
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus? It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
What’s the difference between women and cars? At least cars retained some their values after getting wrecked
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? -- A nervous wreck.
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog, with a sudden inspirational thought he picks the frog up, shoves a fire cracker up the frogs arse, lights the cracker and blows the frog to smithereens. Now at school the teacher asks the class :" Has any body got any thing for show and tell this morning"? Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis". "Ok Johnny, What do you have to share with the class today"? Little Johnny then says " Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frogs arse" the teacher interrupts and says " It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum". Johnny then says " Fucking oath it wrecked ; him'.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck.
I identify as the Titanic, because im a wreck
When you reconstruct Michael Jackson and Lil Nas X to wreck havoc on preschool
What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.
That Driving backwards, It creeping me out, your gonna wreck or somthing. -Lightning Mcqueen. Because that is what could have saved Titanic. and it wrecked.
what do a black and a tornado have in common they both wreck neighbor hoods
Guys say “A wrecked isle dysfunction” really loud and you will get good luck for 10 yesrs
Don't you just love wrecking little girl's pussies. Like the tight feeling is just amazing. The great amount ecstasy you feel when you cum and they get all squirmy. It's just the best.
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered him beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer” DAMN YOU PESSI
