Body jokes
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
You can keep the tip.
I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.
The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.
"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
I just shed my pants.
Sex is basically math. You add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs to multiply inside.
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."