Body jokes
Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubba's two best friends (the three were inseparable) agreed. The first friend said, "Hard to tell, can you turn him over?" The coroner looked perplexed but did so. "Nope, that's not Bubba." The second friend said, "He's burnt up pretty bad, can you roll him over again?" The coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway. "Nope, that's not him." Pretty confused, the coroner asked, "How can you tell it's not him by rolling him over?" "Well, you see, Bubba had two assholes." "Impossible," the coroner replied. The friends said, "I don't know, but every time we went to town, everyone would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
Woah, nice cock.
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
The judge asked Bill Cosby for his defense. He used feminist talking points and said "My body, my choice" and "It's my right to privacy." The judge, being impartial, let Cosby go.
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
What did the dick say to the condom?
Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏
Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"
Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
You can keep the tip.
My bitch as flat as her grannie's heartbeat.
I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.
The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!