Body jokes

Gay sex is a real pain in the ass.

Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?

A: You gonna eat that?

Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:

1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."

So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.

The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

The school shooter: "I don't know."

The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."

I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.

What did the dick say to the condom?

Cover me, I'm going in. 😚😏

Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.

What did the leper say to the prostitute?

You can keep the tip.

My bitch as flat as her grannie's heartbeat.

I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.

The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.

What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

What's red and blue and runs up your leg?

A homesick miscarriage.

Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"

Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"

The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"

Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."

The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."

I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?

Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!

"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."

They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.

Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.

I just shed my pants.