Sister

Jesse

A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas

Wife

Anonymous

A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts “Voodoo Dick, the door!” The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsier’s desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!” The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!” The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Voodoo Dick my ass, bitch.”

Similarity

Anonymous

why r vaginas and the Mariana trench similar lots of seamen goes missing there

Make

Anonymous

Why did God make men? Because you can’t teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn… =^…^=

Stick

Sans

Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it’s solved then there’s a little Asian in there.

2

Woman

Anonymous

Vagina jokes aren’t funny.

Moist of the time.

Woman

Anonymous

Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don’t like it, but you still eat it.

Wife

Anonymous

A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts “Voodoo Dick, the door!” The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsier’s desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!” The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!” The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Voodoo Dick my ass!" The Voodoo Dick then flies out of the woman’s vagina and inside the officer’s ass. The officer say “WHAT THE HELL GET THIS THING OUT OF MY ASSHOLE!” The woman laughs and replies, “Thanks officer” and turns around and goes home.

Kitchen

Anonymous

Josh : What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called ??

Daniel : isn’t it the women ?

Josh : oh yes that’s right

Eating

Anonymous

What’s worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother’s vagina?

Realizing you only put in 4.

2

Woman

Anonymous

So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it’s because you have to be lucky to hit it… I thought it’s because she was always scratching it.

Tongue

ChaCha

What do you call a vagina with multiple clits? A tongue workout!!!

Difference

Troy

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe a hoe can wash her crack and sell it again

Means

Jeem

MVP means: “Most Valuable Player”. In Chuck Norris case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.

Orphan

Cody Farrugia

What do u call a orphan taking a family photo? A Selfie

Vagina

Pussyli ker

What do you call a lesbian? Me

0

Woman

Anonymous

What is the definition of a woman? A life support system for a vagina

Wife

What does Fred say?

Recently I’ve found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker down town in Manhattan, New York thinking I wouldn’t find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

Skin

oof

Whats that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?

The women

4