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Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Why can’t humans hear a dog whistle? – Because dogs can’t whistle.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to Hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”

What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers

What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!

“I created the Human Torch”

The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?

Mary had a little lamb. Key word is had, her dad’s favorite meat is a human

So a women was paranoid so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed and if the dog licked her hand then she was safe.One night just before bed she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick so she went to bed. She in the middle of the night needed to go to the bathroom. So she walked into the bathroom and on the window it said: HUMANS CAN LICK TOO! Then she was murdered.

Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.

Chuck Norris lit a campfire and humans saw the sun for the first time.

according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black

I knew the human race made mistakes but your the worst i’ve seen so far…

What does a human and a cat have in common, both takes my bed

According to all known laws of aviation,

there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little.

  • That girl was hot.
  • She’s my cousin!

What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have? A hambone.

Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?

It’s an ARMadillo

Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages. One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

how many cats are in the human body none unless your Asian

Sun: Hi, I am the sun! I want to warm you up… Human: :D Sun: I want to BuRn you… Human: … Sun: I want to… KILL… you… Human: I should be going now Sun: LET ME KILL YOU Human: Screams his last sound

how do make an adult cry? stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.

Mary had a little lamb Key word is had, her dad’s favorite meat is a human

What do you call a dead human…

A DEAD HUMAN HAHAHahahah ha… ha… ha Am I the only one laughing