Why can’t humans hear a dog whistle? – Because dogs can’t whistle.

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to Hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”

What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers

What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!

The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?

first human comes. sans: that was pun intued

What’s the difference between humans and bullets?

Humans miss John Lennon

What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human? Ask Boeing.

according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black

Chuck Norris lit a campfire and humans saw the sun for the first time.

How do blondes play real life jenga? By stacking humans.

According to all known laws of aviation,

there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!


Hang on a second.


  • Barry?
  • Adam?
  • Oan you believe this is happening?
  • I can’t. I’ll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.

Sorry. I’m excited.

Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B’s.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

  • You got lint on your fuzz.
  • Ow! That’s me!
  • Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.
  • Bye!

Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

“I created the Human Torch”

I knew the human race made mistakes but your the worst i’ve seen so far…

Whats the resemblance between a microwave and reproduction( human )? -they both make a sound at the end.

Papyrus:Sans can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human! Sans:Sure bro lemme just get on the Tele-bone Papyrus:Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!! Sans:yea bro Papyrus:You know what I will tell Undyne instead.

What is the difference between a human and a

So a women was paranoid so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed and if the dog licked her hand then she was safe.One night just before bed she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick so she went to bed. She in the middle of the night needed to go to the bathroom. So she walked into the bathroom and on the window it said: HUMANS CAN LICK TOO! Then she was murdered.

Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?

It’s an ARMadillo