Why can’t humans hear a dog whistle? – Because dogs can’t whistle.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to Hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

why are dolphins so smart? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!

What’s the difference between a bird and a human? “We don’t eat with our peckers

It’s funny that everyone is depressed like I mean Bullys are depressed Nerds are depressed Bad girls/boys are depressed Kind humans are depressed

What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!

What’s the difference between humans and bullets?

Humans miss John Lennon

according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don’t care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black

What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have? A hambone.

The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?

Why was the Human Torch arrested?

He had firearms.

What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human? Ask Boeing.

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Two muffins are sitting in a bar.

The first muffin says to the bartender, “I’ll have the usual”.

The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human like structure, muffins lack brains which are an essential part to being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak. Thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.

How do blondes play real life jenga? By stacking humans.

Leo: Mother, what is an idiot. Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn’t understand. Mother: Do you understand. Leo: No.

Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?

It’s an ARMadillo

Chuck Norris lit a campfire and humans saw the sun for the first time.

you know what is the worst mistake every human being made?

answer: living