Human jokes
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.
At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
First human comes.
Sans: That was pun intended.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.
Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
What did a cannibal have as his last meal?
Five guys.
Why can't humans hear a dog whistle? -- Because dogs can't whistle.
According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.
My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
It's the Olympics.
Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.
What is the difference between a human and a tree and yyyyy night I can drive yyy earth 🌏?
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon.
What has no legs and a human body?
A human with no legs.
Why are dolphins so smart?
Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!