Body Jokes

My friend told me my wrist wasn't a cutting board. So I asked her if hers was at all, and if I could borrow it.

You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.

How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?

Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.

I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?

This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."

meme:

The image shows a dialogue between a teacher and a student about cake. The teacher poses a math problem, and the student gives increasingly aggressive answers, ending with "10 and a dead body". The image includes anime characters and the text "PROBLEM?".

Damn, bitch, you got a big ass for a head!

What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!

Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice.'"

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."

The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"

The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."

So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.

"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."

The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"

The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”

Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.

Why doesn't a skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with. Lol, Sans.

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.

Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubba's two best friends (the three were inseparable) agreed. The first friend said, "Hard to tell, can you turn him over?" The coroner looked perplexed but did so. "Nope, that's not Bubba." The second friend said, "He's burnt up pretty bad, can you roll him over again?" The coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway. "Nope, that's not him." Pretty confused, the coroner asked, "How can you tell it's not him by rolling him over?" "Well, you see, Bubba had two assholes." "Impossible," the coroner replied. The friends said, "I don't know, but every time we went to town, everyone would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"