Body jokes
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.
While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."
So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?
Cremation.
What did Sally do when she got home?
Cry because she has no arms.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with? Shingles!
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
Why did my foot cross the road?
Because your ass was on the other side.
I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.
What do you call a skeleton in the snow? A numb skull.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps
Your fat!
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone!
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head before he died?
His elbow.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
"Don't worry, you can keep the tip."