Body jokes
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?
Cremation.
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps
Your fat!
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head before he died?
His elbow.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone!
Your momma is so fat, she can't even go skinny dipping.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
"Don't worry, you can keep the tip."
Among Us players after saying "Self Report!" to the police officers who find a dead body in their basement.
Why did Annie fall from the swing?
Because she had no hands.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Annie.
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
There’s so many protests. Every time I see "my body, my choice," I can’t tell if we’re protesting the masks or trying to kill babies.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She didn't have any arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.
Did you SEA what I did there?
GUY: Yes
Are you SHORE?
Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Why could she not get back up? Because she had no friends.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Susie...
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.