Body jokes
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
Your forehead is so big, it gets home 50 min before you do.
Why did Sarah call off the swing? Because she has no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.
Yo mama so fat, COW!
So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"
She said, "*sniff* yes."
Yo mama so stupid that she shit and farted on you, asshole!
I’m sorry deez nuts can’t fit in your mouth.
Lilly's hairline was so fat that Charlene could not find it on Roblox.
I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.
Me: How do you know that?
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
Your mama so chubby, people call her fat.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him up!
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?
Cremation.
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Me: Name all the planets.
Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.
Me: Not my anus!