Body jokes
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏
Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.
"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
Vagina jokes aren’t funny, period.
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
What do you call the girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.