I have 206 bones in my body, but when I look at you, I have 207.
A teacher asked her class “what is sex?”
Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a *temptation* Caused by a *sensation* Where the boy sticks his *location* Into a girls *destination* To increase the *population* Of the next *generation* Did you get my *explanation*? Or do you need a *demonstration*?”
The teacher faints.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.
A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, "Can I touch it?" The little boy looks back at her and says, "Hell no, you already broke yours off!"
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.
I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.
At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
Why are vaginas and the Mariana Trench similar? Lots of seamen go missing there.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.
What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He's a d!ck.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
