Body jokes
Yo Momma so hairy, she has to shampoo her armpits.
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?
Cremation.
Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.
What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?
Con Fuckacarcass.
Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.
It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.
What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.
Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
I finally know why my brain doesn't work!
On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.
"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."
Alpha Kenny body?
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.