Razor blade jokes
God creating cats.
GOD: Make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of.
ANGEL: Ok.......................................anything else?
GOD: YES, PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
All you need is a razor blade in life.
I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a razor blade?
A: Depends on which wound bleeds faster.
A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.
Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"
I slit my wrist and said, "THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE!" So I did it again, but with a knife and said, "NOW *THAT'S* A LOT OF DAMAGE!" I then put watertight Flex Seal on the wound, and it didn't seal.
You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)