Puns

Anonymous

If trees could kill you, they wood.

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Shooting

Kira akuma

Three guy are in the woods, a a really smart guy, an average, and a really dumb guy, they bored so the smart guy decides to go hunting a little while later he comes back with a dear, the average guy asks how do did you do that? The really smart guy says says I see dear tracks I fallow dear tracks, I see dear I shoot dear. The average guy say I think I understand and leaves, an little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb goes gasp how did you do that!?. And the average looks at him funny and says well I see raccoon tracks I fallow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon I shoot raccoon. The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says Oooohh, ok I thiNo I can do that… and leaves. Hours pass and and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mingled. They run to help him. Finally one of the guys ask him what happened this is what he said: I see train tracks, I fallow train tracks. I see train I shoot train. But train keep coming.

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Darkness

The Special

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared” Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”

King

Anonymous

when is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler

Puns

Pun mastah

how does a crazy person get to the woods?

He takes the psychopath.

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Fire

Morning Wood

wood fired pizza?

hows pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O

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Darkness

Logan Paul

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. They boy turns to the man and says, “Hey mister its getting dark out, and I’m scared… Can we go back now?” So the man says: “How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"

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Son

Anonymous Jail Mom In TX

wo tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”

Stick

Anonymous

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur and the rabbit says no So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit

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Darkness

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.

Cannibal

Bow Tie Guy

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?

Man

JUSTSTOP

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”

The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”

Night

Anonymous

A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.

The little boy says, “I’m scared.”

The pedophile says, “You think you’re scared? I have to walk back alone!”

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Darkness

hide the pain harold

a man was walking with a young boy in the woods. the boy looks at the man and says “mister, its too dark and im getting scared.” the man replies with, “how do u think i feel? i have to come back alone.”

Bone

Wickerlynn

Two hunters are in the woods and one falls to the ground. Terrified, he dials 911 and says “Help! I think my friend is dying. What do I do?” The nurse says, “I need you to make sure he’s dead. The hunter replies, “Ok I’ll be right back.” The nurse is startled after hearing a gunshot. The hunter comes back and says “I checked. Now what do I do?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his heart has completely stopped.” She is startled when she hears the sound of a taser. The hunter comes back and says “What’s next?” The nurse replies, “I need you to make sure his brain has completely shut down.” The nurse is once again startled when she hears the sound of a bone being crushed by what seemed to be a hammer. The hunter comes back and asks “Anything else?” The nurse says “Nope. That’s it.”

Darkness

An0y1

A man is walking into the woods with a young boy:

Boy: “Hey mister, it’s getting dark out and I’m scared.”

Man: “How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone.”

Mourning

Anonymous

what does a necrophiliac get at a wedding? mourning wood

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Puns

Anonymous

I bought a wooden whistle. I tried soo hard, but it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel one. It steel wooden let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It steel wooden lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes. So the wood lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel…

Woman

Tanner

You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded, what is the first thing you do? Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.

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Coffin

Anonymous

What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?

Stephen Hawkins coffin

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