Aed jokes

Am I a guard or a guava?

I was on a flight to California, but my next in the Empire State Building.

Me rn: "Yo yo yo, for pre-K I went to K.I.S.S. a school."

My friend: "What is K.I.S.M.A.?"

Me: "K.I.S.M.A. balls!"

What do you call a thicc boy... big boi?

What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?

Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.

I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'

What's a convict's favorite song?

"I want to break free."

I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.

What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

What do you call a money hungry Hispanic?

Don Jewlio

Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.

I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.

You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!

Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!

Me: What has two legs and bleeds?

Friend: Um, women? Obviously?

Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.

What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day? F5

Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.

What’s a rapper’s favorite kind of SODA?

Dr. Dre Pepper.

You got a pig head!

Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."

Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.