Aed jokes
Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.
Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Saw that shit on Roblox.
Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?
Me: Look at the stars in the sky.
Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?
Me: No, it’s a waste of time.
Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.
Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.
Someone fucked a member of BTS.
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."
My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.
Eminem: "He don't even know his own father." Orphans: Dang, wish I could listen to that. Eminem: At least you have a rap God to call father.
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
The best part about being a medical student is, you will never run out of jokes.
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*
Girl, you and slow are slower than a fairness.
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
What fish sings?
A tuna.
What do you call a bad joke?
A bad Noah!
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