Weed Jokes

What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?

High steaks gambling.

What do you call a chair that smokes weed?

A high chair

you should never try afgani weed becuse people in afganistan get stoned to death

When midgets smoke weed do they get high or do they get medium

When a miget smokes weed do they get high or medium

why was the sand wet? because the sea weed!

[ when a cop meets a pothead on April 20th ]

Officer : Hi, how high are you?

Pothead : No officer, it's how are you

Officer : oh im sorry ive been high since last night

Pothead : cool, i'd like to give you sum weed, happy 420 sir

Officer : omg thx man appreciate that

I told my doctor I was experiencing some back pain. He told me to smoke some weed because I had chronic back pain.

If there was someone selling drugs around here, weed know

What's a convicts favorite chore.

Weeding.

What do you call Mexican that smokes weed.a Baked bean

roses are red, i like weed, if you say yes then i'll do a "good deed"

i cant come in, because im too high

what does a shark smoke sea-WEED

how do whales breathe under water they take a deep METH

Two to the one from the one to the three I like good pussy and i like good trees Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe And i get more ass than a toilet seat Three to the one from the one to the three I met a bad bitch last night in the d Let me tell you how i made her leave with me Conversation and hennessey I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped If i ain't got a weapon i'ma pick up a rock And when i bust yo ass i'ma continue to rock Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet It's real easy just follow the beat Don't let that fine girl pass you by Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind

An 80 year old blind man ask his grandson can you grab my glasses Then the grandson say did you get in the flour again Grandpa said no it was the weed

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...