Weed jokes
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.
Roses are red, I like weed,
If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."
I can't come in, because I'm too high.
What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.
When midgets smoke weed, do they get high or do they get medium?
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed!
When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
What did the weed say before he got on the escalator?
Grass for lash.
If there was someone selling drugs around here, we'd know.
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
I was gonna clean my room
before I got high.
Which dog is owned by a kid called "Charlie Brown," raps, and smokes?
Snoopy Dog.
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
I told my doctor I was experiencing some back pain. He told me to smoke some weed because I had chronic back pain.