Octopus jokes
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
What did the octopus say to the other? "Let’s hold hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands."
What is the octopus's favorite shape?
An octagon.
How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
I like turtles.
How would you multiply numbers in octoschool?
You octoply, obviously.
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
What sea creature can add up? A octoplus.