Aed jokes
Yo mama so stupid she studied for a COVID-19 test.
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.
When a mute girl gives a hand job, is it oral?
Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?
A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack was surprised to see she had different eyes, and that’s when he realized... Jack had fucked Jill’s daughter.
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.
You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."
Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!