Accident jokes

My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot.

One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.

I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.

I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.

I will never forget my grandpa's last words, Hold the ladder!

If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.

I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.

What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?

Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.

I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.

Not screaming like her passengers.

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.

What mistake did the manager of the Twin Towers make?

He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets.

Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"

I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.

How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, she was electrocuted.

I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!

You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!

He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!

My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.

I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!

I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.

Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.