Accident jokes

Two people wanted pepperoni pizza... Sadly, they got planes.

My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.

I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!

You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!

He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!

I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!

What mistake did the manager of the Twin Towers make?

He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets.

Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"

If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.

Why did the kid cross the road?

Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?

You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.

Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."

What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?

We were both caused by broken rubber.

Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.

Little Mickel was on a tree.

He fell down and hurt his knee.

He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...

My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.