Accident jokes
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a truck.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not a poo, you're a poo.
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.
Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
Wanna hear some famous last words?
"We are just experiencing some turbulence."
What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.
best friend makes 9/11 joke.
you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."
best friend: "I'm sorry."
you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
Did you hear about Hellen Keller falling down the well?
She screamed her little fingers off.
"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.
Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
Where did Susie go after the bomb exploded?
Everywhere.
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.
The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.
The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."