Accident jokes
What song does Kobe Bryant hate?
"Rocky Mountain High."
Yo mama is so clumsy, when she had her first kickboxing lesson, she kicked herself in the testicles.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
Memes
Whoa, Talent
Joe mama so fat, when she did the IShowSpeed dance, she fell five floors down.
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words, Hold the ladder!
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.
Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
What mistake did the manager of the Twin Towers make?
He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.