Incident Jokes

The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.

How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.

Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.

Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.

Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!

Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.

Teacher: What was that?

Alex: Flew the plane.

Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.

"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."

Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.

A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.

Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"

Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?

To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.

Up into the sky so very far, here comes Dr. Seuss! "ALLAHU AKBAR", at the ripe old age of 97, he committed 9/11.

They named a road after George Floyd. It was a dead end, though.

I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.

I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.

When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.

When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.

😐😑

what do you call a terrorist attack in india?

a wednesday.

What's the problem with 9/11 jokes?

They are just two plane.

What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?

A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.

There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.

A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...

Your hairline is so pushed back, it's looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.