Accident jokes
I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.
Michael Jackson was the King of Pop until he got burned by Pepsi. Now, Pepsi is the hero, and now, we know the rest of the story.
Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.
His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
The mom: "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road, honey?"
The dad: "Everywhere."