Accident

Accident jokes

USS Liberty. Never forget.

It was bombed and destroyed by the Israeli airforce. Thirty-four dead, 171 wounded. The official story says “accident,” yet an American flag was clearly visible on the ship.

Motive: An attempt to cut off our foreign intelligence on Israel? Blame the bombing on an Arab country?

Just imagine if any other nation bombed an American ship...

Orphan

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.

Kobe

What did Kobe say to the helicopter?

"Don't crash!"

Kobe

Kobe: "Don't crash!"

Helicopter: *Crashes*

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

Michael Jackson

Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson was the King of Pop until he got burned by Pepsi. Now, Pepsi is the hero, and now, we know the rest of the story.

Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.

His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."

How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.