Plane

Scott

Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash

Best pilot in Saudi Arabia

Computer

Anonymous

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

2

Riddles

Anonymous

What do you take care of after a car crash? The witnesses

5

Twin Towers

Korbin

Why are the twin towers mad?

They ordered pepperoni pizza but all they got was plain.

Computer

Anonymous

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

3

Kobe

Gabe Itch

I wanted to play as Kobe in my console but the game crashed.

Police

Anonymous

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we’ve ever gotten to an accident site.”

1

Cry

Anonymous

Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”

Car

Anounymouse

A boy and his mother survived a car crash. The boy asks his mother “Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?” The mother replies with “More like an accident.”

0

Air

best morbid jokes EVER

There was an air crash of a Boeing 737 - 800 which can carry around 300 passengers…

It crashed in a cemetery

They recovered 500 bodies

Puns

Anonymous

What do need in order to crash a train?

A bad track record

0

Blonde

Madison R.

A Blonde crashed A Helicopter. A Police Officer Asked Her What Happened. She Says, “It Got Cold So I Turned Off The Fan.”

3

Puns

Jon

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

1

Plane

Anonymous

There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?

A pentagon!

(9/11 joke)

Bus

Anonymous

There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed and they all went to heaven. God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said,"I want to be handsome. " God granted his wish. The second guy said,“I want to be more handsome than the first guy.”, God granted his wish. “The third guy said " I want to be more handsome than the second guy.” God granted his wish and this continued on and on until the 15 ugly guy.The ugly guy was laughing. Really hard. “What is your wish?” God asked him. “I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!” God granted his wish

Paul Walker

Anonymous

I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.

Death

Sad and lonely

If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn…

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I’m like the sun; I’m painful to look at.

If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I’m like an eggshell… broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature I’d be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I’m like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it’s dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I’m like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I’m like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I’m like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I’m like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I’m like a shity book cover… because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can’t afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety

Help me…

Twin Towers

Anonymous

Q: you want to know way I don’t make jokes about 9/11 A: They tend to crash and burn

2

Car

Wakanda

A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree He now knew how the Mercedes bends

Wife

ImaJoke

My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side so i crashed the car.