Collision jokes
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a chair, and a table, and a wall.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)
I crashed into those motherfuckers! 😂😂😂
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By bumping into each other to see who falls over first.
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.