Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
Collision Jokes
Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a chair, and a table, and a wall.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
I crashed into those motherfuckers! 😂😂😂
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
