Collision jokes
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a chair, and a table, and a wall.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)
I crashed into those motherfuckers! 😂😂😂
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
How do fat people settle arguments?
By bumping into each other to see who falls over first.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.