Collision jokes
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar.
Oh, is that how he ended up in a wheelchair?
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
Why did the wall fall over?
A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
What's the definition of disappointment?
Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.
What hits the ground first, the feather or the emo?
The feather, because the emo is hung in the tree.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.
Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
How do fat people settle arguments?
By bumping into each other to see who falls over first.
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
Q: What did the Iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
Three men walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked! 😅
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.