My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day....but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
*Loud explosion inside the tank*
"Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."
I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler.
He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.
A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm “This place looks scary” they kid said And the man replies” I know right, I have to walk out of there alone”
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
Imagine working at the World Trade Center only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place
my grandad was shocked to learn that lightning can strike in the same place twice.
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole".
The ass replied, "yes, but you still keep coming".
Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but chuck Norris does.
'' What place can you always find suicidal cows at? ''
"Mc Donald's."
Where's a cannibals favorite place to eat?
Chilli's. Because they got them baby back ribs.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
What's a orphans favorite part in the wizard of oz?
When Dorothy says "there's no place like home".
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
Q: whats a pedophiles favorite place to eat? A: schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
i don't get it. orphans are very religious, well mostly. statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church i mean its the only place they can call someone "father"
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Aparently that’s where most accidents happen.
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says “what’s the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks? “ The man says “it’s not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place.”
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic? A: Right where you left em.
