Accident jokes

What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.

How to fall down stairs.

Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of kids drowning.

What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."

There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.

Pooooooooooop!

When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?

Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?

To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.

My sister got in a car crash a couple days ago. When she got to the hospital, the doctor told her that she needed to get metal mechanics in her leg.

She got really scared and yelled at the doctor, telling them that, “I will not get those implanted in my leg.” I guess she just doesn’t associate with knee gears.

"How was your day?"

"It was great."

"What was so great about it?"

"I saw a puppy."

"Awww."

"And I ran over it :)"

I will never forget my grandpa's last words, Hold the ladder!

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today.

Now they call him Hot Wheels.

My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.

My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.

One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.

What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?

"Get off me homes."

Race car backwards is race car.

Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.

A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He just couldn't see that well.