Accident jokes
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
What did the plane that crashed on the ground say? Let me crash between those legs, girl!
Sorry, cringy joke.
The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!
Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?
"Everywhere."
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.
My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.
I had the best butterfingers yesterday.
I dropped it.
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?
The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
I was going to charge my phone, so I pulled a plug and put it in. Then, my grandpa wasn't breathing anymore.
Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.
I've been hit by several things in my life.
Sadly, never a car.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
Your family in a nutshell.
When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.