Accident jokes
I saw a yellow bus and I knew that some-ting was wrong.
The bus was white.
Haha, dead.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.
You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?
Boss: You're fired!
Me: Ok?
Worker: Why are you fired?
Me: Oh, you wanna know...
*shows him the oven with my pizza*
Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!
Worker: OH SHIT!!
Boss: Did you say pizza?
Me: I sure did!
*shows boss pizza in oven*
Me: This hoe black as fuck!
Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?
Why did Sally run into a tree?
She is blind.
Memes
meme:
I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"
What’s worse than dropping your ice cream?
The Holocaust.
My sister got in a car crash a couple days ago. When she got to the hospital, the doctor told her that she needed to get metal mechanics in her leg.
She got really scared and yelled at the doctor, telling them that, “I will not get those implanted in my leg.” I guess she just doesn’t associate with knee gears.
Did you hear about Hellen Keller falling down the well?
She screamed her little fingers off.
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
I remember my grandad's last words: "Are you still holding the ladder?"
A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.
They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
Where did Sally go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
When you say, "I'm high!"
But then you fall off.
Sally has no arms. She fell off the swing. Why? Someone threw a fridge at her. AAHAHAAAHHAHAH!
Why was Aaron's mum sad? The bus missed Aaron.
My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...
He fell from a tower.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"