You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
Q: Why was the pilot sad?
A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀
Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Your mama is so stupid. She fell off a bike and didn't know which way to fall!
Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
(knock knock) whos there, Accident, accident who, accident you
Why did AlexDaEgg fall down the stairs? Because he is fat.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?
I had the best butterfingers yesterday.
I dropped it.
My Butterfingers slipped.
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
I felt a window break once. It was pane-full!
As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"
My father can take a joke because he made one.
