You jokes

You know what I like most about people with Parkinson's... Their handshake!

What do you call a pedo with no legs? A creepy crawly.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

I did app.

I did app who?

You did a poo.

Your hairline is so far back my grandpa saw it before you!

You look like Megamind, drug dealer.

You're so skinny, you can hula-hoop with Fruit Loops!

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.

Does it cycle now? 🚲

So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.

Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?

Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.

Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.

Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!

Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.

Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...

NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!

What do you call a kid with no home?

A homeless kid.

What do you find at the end of a rainbow?

Answer: W.

Hi Mom, how are you doing?

Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.

Did you know there is no "p" in the alphabet? ABCDEFGHIJKLM(NOP)!

So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.

One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"

He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"

Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.

If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.

Are you a haunted house?

Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.

If your sisert makes you 100% mad, slap your siert.

You other brothers can’t deny that she’s fly.

It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.