Cookie jokes
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray!”
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)
What cookie has an orphan never had?
Homemade.
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.
If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
What is a computer's favorite snack? Cookies!
I told a cookie a joke the other day.
It just crumbled.
One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No," said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough."
The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough," his grandpa replied.
The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself."
"You’re the milk to my cookies."
Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.
Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!
Orphans have tasted all cookies except for homemade ones.
Why did the adopted kid eat the last cookie? Because he was the only one left to adopt; everyone hated him.