Cookie Jokes

Oreo

Daniel King
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Why did the OREO go to the dentist?

Because he needed a filling. 😂

Depression

Anonymous
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If you were a food what would you be?

Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy

Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends

Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

Puns

Anonymous
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Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!

Little Johnny

chazz
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little johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it and it said take 1 god is watching. He continues walking and sees a bowl of cookies that said take 1 please so little johnny made his own note and he wrote take as many cookies as you want god is watching the apples

Parent

Anonymous
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One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No", said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough." The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough." his grandpa replied. The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself

Orphan

Anonymous
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What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Homemade cookies

Race

·

When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?

“Chip Chip Hooray”

Yo mama

Pun Man 3000
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Yo mama so stupid, that when she heard about cookies on the internet she ate her computer

King

Daniel King
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What does a queen 👸 want on her cookie 🍪?

Royal Icing.

Orphanage

Anonymous
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Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? - Because there cookies are homemade

Orphan

Anonymous
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What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)

Orphan

Anonymous
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What cookies did the orphans never tried?? Home made cookies!!

Insult

Your welcome
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I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk

Anti-jokes

yas
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Q:Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him? A: He doesn’t exist you childish sh**

0

Christmas

A very bad joke
·

I was trying to poison santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤

Sheet

Daniel King
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What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?🍪

Ooh,snicker doodles.

Poor

Anonymous
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What’s a homeless persons favorite cookie?

Pooreo’s

2

Sister

Aiden
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heres a list of puns not all of them are mine

1.Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

2.Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

5.Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

6.Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

7.Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

8.How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

9.That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

10.My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

Little Johnny

Anonymous
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Little Johnny walks out to the garage, and sees Dad smoking a cigarette... He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette??" Dad asks, "Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, No Dad, my dick can't reach my ass"... His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house...

About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage, and sees his Dad drinking a beer... He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer??" Dad asks, "Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, No Dad, my dick can't reach my ass"... His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house...

About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a BIG plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven... His Dad says, "WOW Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies... You think I can have some??" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass??" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, Yes Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass"... Little Johnny says, "Well Dad, you can go FUKC yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"...

Doctor

Anonymous
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Mother: How is my little cookie 🍪 doing?

Doctor 👩‍⚕️: Your cookie 🍪 is feeling crummy right now.

Mother: Really?

Doctor 👩‍⚕️: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.

Mother: 😁♥️🍪