Cookie Jokes

Oreo

Daniel King

Why did the OREO go to the dentist?

Because he needed a filling. 馃槀

Depression

Anonymous

If you were a food what would you be?

Friend 1-Pizza cause I鈥檓 so cheesy

Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends

Me-donut cause I鈥檓 so empty inside

Puns

Anonymous

Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!

Little Johnny

chazz

little johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it and it said take 1 god is watching. He continues walking and sees a bowl of cookies that said take 1 please so little johnny made his own note and he wrote take as many cookies as you want god is watching the apples

Parent

Anonymous

One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No", said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough." The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough." his grandpa replied. The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself

Orphan

Anonymous

What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Homemade cookies

Race

When a cookie 馃崻 wins a race, what will the crowd say?

鈥淐hip Chip Hooray鈥

Yo mama

Pun Man 3000

Yo mama so stupid, that when she heard about cookies on the internet she ate her computer

King

Daniel King

What does a queen 馃懜 want on her cookie 馃崻?

Royal Icing.

Orphanage

Anonymous

Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? - Because there cookies are homemade

Orphan

Anonymous

What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)

Orphan

Anonymous

What cookies did the orphans never tried?? Home made cookies!!

Insult

Your welcome

I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk

Anti-jokes

yas

Q:Why didn鈥檛 Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him? A: He doesn鈥檛 exist you childish sh**

0

Christmas

A very bad joke

I was trying to poison santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 馃槫

Sheet

Daniel King

What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?馃崻

Ooh,snicker doodles.

Poor

Anonymous

What鈥檚 a homeless persons favorite cookie?

Pooreo鈥檚

2

Sister

Aiden

heres a list of puns not all of them are mine

1.Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

2.Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I鈥檓 okay, but I feel like I鈥檝e dyed a little inside.

3. My sister bet that I couldn鈥檛 build a car out of spaghetti. You should鈥檝e seen her face when I drove pasta.

4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

5.Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, 鈥淲hat鈥檚 your favorite kind of music?鈥 The other says, 鈥淚鈥檓 a big metal fan.鈥

6.Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

7.Why didn鈥檛 the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

8.How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

9.That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

10.My parents said I can鈥檛 drink coffee anymore. Or else they鈥檒l ground me!

Little Johnny

Anonymous

Little Johnny walks out to the garage, and sees Dad smoking a cigarette... He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette??" Dad asks, "Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, No Dad, my dick can't reach my ass"... His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house...

About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage, and sees his Dad drinking a beer... He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer??" Dad asks, "Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, No Dad, my dick can't reach my ass"... His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house...

About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a BIG plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven... His Dad says, "WOW Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies... You think I can have some??" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass??" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, Yes Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass"... Little Johnny says, "Well Dad, you can go FUKC yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"...

Doctor

Anonymous

Mother: How is my little cookie 馃崻 doing?

Doctor 馃懇鈥嶁殨锔: Your cookie 馃崻 is feeling crummy right now.

Mother: Really?

Doctor 馃懇鈥嶁殨锔: But don鈥檛 worry. Things are about to get batter.

Mother: 馃榿鈾ワ笍馃崻