Birthday jokes
"Yooby Fo Birthday boy."
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Everyone when we're in the cafeteria singing happy birthday to some random person: "Happy birthday to you..., Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear
Me in the background: Happy deathday to you..., Happy deathday to you, happy death day dear___, happy death day to you!"
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
I have a problem. My dad and my girlfriend have the same birthday. So, one took my virginity, and the other is my girlfriend.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
Most people age up on their birthdays,
Stephen levels up.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."
🎨🧑🏻🦰 day was that good fun day at home 🏠. I had to the earth and I love it when you get a home and walk walk home from school and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠. Was your birthday 🎁? I did.
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.