Birthday Jokes

Ratchet the Hatchet

My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.

Sally

in Sally

Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

Trint

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

6

Hand

Anonymous

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.

GG Miller

Patient: "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: "Next time, take off the candles."

GAYYY

in Poor

So my friends birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.

GlitzyGlamGirl (GGG)

in Puns

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

Hand

Anonymous

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday.

idk he hasn't opened it yet.

9

UrStepmom😏😏

in Scary

My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!

It's not my birthday but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house

Jon Doe

in Irony

It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday", then they want to give you a spanking.

Jimmy

I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

Stephanie

in Airway

🎨🧑🏻‍🦰 day was that good fun day at home 🏠 I had to the earth and I love it when you get a home and walk walk home from school and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠 was your birthday 🎁 I did

Jesus

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

Also I have the same Birthday as her so I have the pass.

Stephanie

in Family

What is a difference between a tree and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk home 🏠 was your birthday 🎁

Today

Anonymous

Hi 👋 I love you

Jeury

in Confusion

So today is my birthday today am 13 but yesterday am going to turn 10.but am not even go to school to know the number ten becuase one time at 10 pm in the morning it was so cold in in my hot room so I want outside to drive my car to drive my car. But I stopped becuase the light turn green.i was talking a bath in the front of my car out it didn’t have bin so am taking a sh$t

SIRE SEMPAI

My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way it really ruined her birthday.

Dad

Anonymous

I have a problem my dad any my girlfriend have the same birthday. So one took my virginity and the other is my girlfriend