Birthday jokes
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.
I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident?
An amputation.
My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
I have a problem. My dad and my girlfriend have the same birthday. So, one took my virginity, and the other is my girlfriend.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
"Yooby Fo Birthday boy."
🎨🧑🏻🦰 day was that good fun day at home 🏠. I had to the earth and I love it when you get a home and walk walk home from school and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠. Was your birthday 🎁? I did.
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.
What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!
Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"