You jokes
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
What do you call a blind racist?
A not see.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: You can't find your dog.
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
Memes
Why I come here instead of reddit nowadays >:\
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
What did the lungs say to the cigar?
"You take my breath away..."
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".
If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.
What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass.
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?
She was too young.
Babies can spread a nasty smell,
especially when you haven't fed them for a month.
Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?
Kid: Are you gay?
Me: No, I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.