What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
You Jokes
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”
MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”
If you watch "Jaws" backward, it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
Friend 1: Eyyy gurl
Me: Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?
Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?
Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."
So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!
What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.
Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."
Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"
Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
what do you call a retard smoking weed?
a baked potato.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually, I shouldn't spread it.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
