Necrophiliac jokes
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?
Cracking open a cold one with the boys.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?
Coldplay.
A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.
"Was it hung?" her friend asks.
"No, he was shot."
How did the necrophiliac get caught?
Some rotten cunt split on him....
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave.
Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work.
Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?
Con Fuckacarcass.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
What does a bar fly and a necrophiliac have in common?
They both enjoy a cold one once in a while.
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, "She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?" The wife replies, "Perform the fucking autopsy!"
My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.