There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?
A: It’s always 90 degrees.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they build a shop on it.
Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
Yo mama so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner--and she looked.
How do you confuse a blonde? Put it in a circle and tell it to sit in the corner.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.
So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.
The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
