Cucumber

Cucumber Jokes

Food

What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?

You need more dressing.

Inch

What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?

My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.

Nun

Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?

She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.

Word

What is long, hard and has cum in it? Cucumber.

What is a 3 letter word that starts with S ends with X and has a vowel? Six.

Batman

Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?

Batman: A dick.

Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!

Boy

A boy walks into class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Then a girl walks in, and the teacher says, "And where on earth have you been?" The girl says, "Well, you see..." Then the teacher stops her and says, "Let me guess, on a peach hill?" The girl says, "No, on 2 big cucumbers."

Penis

Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?

They both have cum in it.

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  • Pickle

    What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?

    A pickle.

    Masturbation

    I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.

    I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"

    Woman

    Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.

    Way

    What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?

    Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.

    Vegetable

    Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.

    Nun

    Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?

    She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.