Cucumber

Cucumber jokes

Food

    • What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?

    You need more dressing.

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    • Vegetable

    • Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.

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    • Cucumber memes

    Woman

    • Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.

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    • Nun

    • Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?

    She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.

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    • Woman

    • A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.

    The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.

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    • Short jokes

    • All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...

    Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.

    Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.

    And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.

    There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...

    There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.

    So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

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    • Masturbation

    • I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.

    I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"

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