You jokes
What do you call a German that can't see? A Notsee.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
Memes
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call a doctor in Panera Bread?
Panera Med.
What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?
C sharp minor.
What do you call a bunch of retarded preschoolers? Tater tots.
The dark side of kid songs:
You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your daddy is gay, So are you!
He was saying jokes, and someone said, "You are on a roll!"
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
Ever seen twins?
If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?
A very good person.