Quote jokes

My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."

- One of the thousands of missing children.

My teacher told me, "You have no idea how powerful this quote is." I looked at her and told her, "You don't know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is."

"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow

If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.

Dream tweeted, and I quote, "Babies kick pregnant women all the time, but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested."

Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"

I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.

"'There is no God.' - Stephen Hawking (2011)

'There is no Stephen Hawking.' - God (2018)"

What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?

"I am your father."

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.

"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.

I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.

I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.

I'll never forget my Grandad's last words... "Son, where did you get a grenade from?!"

Two people are under the covers. The man says, "Quote the Beatles: Come together!"

Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."

Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...

Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.

Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!

"It's not a war crime if you win the war."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...

A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.

-- Jeffery Dahmer