Quote jokes

My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."

- One of the thousands of missing children.

My teacher told me, "You have no idea how powerful this quote is." I looked at her and told her, "You don't know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is."

If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.

Dream tweeted, and I quote, "Babies kick pregnant women all the time, but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested."

Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"

I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.

"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.

"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow

"'There is no God.' - Stephen Hawking (2011)

'There is no Stephen Hawking.' - God (2018)"

What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?

"I am your father."

I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.

I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.

My mother didn't want me to love my sister. That made me angry. But then, one day I found this quote: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Since that day, I fuck my sister hard and my MOM harder!

I'll never forget my Grandad's last words... "Son, where did you get a grenade from?!"

"It's not a war crime if you win the war."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...

Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."

Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.

Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!

Two people are under the covers. The man says, "Quote the Beatles: Come together!"

If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”

A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.

-- Jeffery Dahmer