You jokes
How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a Golbat.
What do you call a Pokémon who can’t move very fast?
A Slowpoke.
My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.
I told them, "Just you wait!"
What's worse, being loved or hated? 'Cause when you're loved you could be left alone or be betrayed, but when you're hated no one's there to leave you. What do you think?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Can you walk the dog for me?
Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?
You'll get jur ass kicked.
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.
What do you call a doctor in Panera Bread?
Panera Med.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA because all the black guys are playing.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
What’s the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
Why are people disappointments? Because you are reading this.
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.
One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post
What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
Ever seen twins?
If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?