You jokes

Pig

    • Teacher: What does a cow say?

    Susie: Moo.

    Teacher: Good. Now what does a duck say?

    Jimmy: The duck goes quack.

    Teacher: Now what does a pig say?

    Little Jonny: A pig says, "Get up against the wall, you black motherfucker!"

    Race

    • Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"

    Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"

    God says, "You are what you are."

    Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."

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    • Sausage

    • Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.

    Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.

    "Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"

    "Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."

    When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.

    The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.

    After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."

    "How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"

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    • You memes

    Death

    • Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.

    Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.

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