You jokes
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!
What do you call a scared octopus?
An octopussy.
"You suck. I don't wanna be married anymore ://////"
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.
What do you call a black man with a gun? A gangsta.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"
What do you call a born-again heteroflexible male that is a Christian nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that? He is a gay man that is in the closet. He should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary.
Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.
Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 😏
What do you call a rapper's favorite insect?
A flow bee.
What do you call a picture of an orphan? A selfie.
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!
Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?
Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.
Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!
So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"
The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"
Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!
So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"
So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"