You jokes
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
Memes
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.
Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?
They’re never straight with you.
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
What do you call a fat chick with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”
What do you call a nun on a bike?
Virgin Mobile.