You jokes

I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)

Her: "Land of the free".

Me: *fat*

Her: What do you mean?

Me: It's not fat-free.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

You're so poor you put paper cutlery in the dishwasher.

You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.

What do you call an Indian that came home late?

A curfew muncher.

Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.

Jesus was drinking when he made you.

What do you call an orphan family? None existent.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?

What do you call a girl furry?

A pussy cat.

The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."

If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?

The Royal Commission.

Alternatively, Tony Abbott.

When you see a kid yelling and you wanna leave :(((((((

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.

Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."

What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?

You die of laughter.

What do you call a united cow? A united steaks! 🤣🤣🤣