You jokes
How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
Your forehead's so big that I was tryna figure out if that was you or the moon.
Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
Memes
Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
Why can you hit orphans?
Because they can't tell their parents.
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!
Dad, I hate you!
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."
What do you call an emo with a knife?
A cutting board.
Exercise?
I thought you said "extra fries!"
-A minion (you may now laugh).
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?
A very good person.
Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.
What do you call a doctor in Panera Bread?
Panera Med.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA because all the black guys are playing.
What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?
C sharp minor.