You jokes
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
An advantage of being an orphan: the teacher can't give you any homework.
When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.
What do you call a transgender person in a wheelchair?
An Autobot.
get this one guys
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa?
It’s known as the Hunger Games.
I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from.
How do you get a retard out of a tree?
Wave at them.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket!
Are you the Twin Towers? I can't stand you.
Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.
Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?
They’re never straight with you.
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.