Kilt jokes

Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?

He totally kilt her.

Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.

Heil Kyle!

Kyle's penis is small.

So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.

Why did UK want Northern Ireland for more s***?

People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!