Whistle jokes

I bought a wooden whistle. But it wouldn't whistle, so I bought a steel whistle. But it still wouldn't whistle. So I bought a lead whistle, but it still wouldn't lead me to whistle.

Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

Why don't women parachute naked?

That annoying whistling sound on the way down.

I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.

So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....

Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.

I got caught peeing in the pool.

The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!

What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?

Optimistic.

Why can't humans hear a dog whistle? -- Because dogs can't whistle.

What do you call a fat, ugly, and hairy woman with a rape whistle? A feminist.

Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?

So they don't whistle on the way down!

How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.