Whistle jokes

I bought a wooden whistle. But it wouldn't whistle, so I bought a steel whistle. But it still wouldn't whistle. So I bought a lead whistle, but it still wouldn't lead me to whistle.

Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

Why don't women parachute naked?

That annoying whistling sound on the way down.

I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.

So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....

Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.

A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"

But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"

I got caught peeing in the pool.

The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!

What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?

Optimistic.

Why can't humans hear a dog whistle? -- Because dogs can't whistle.

What do you call a fat, ugly, and hairy woman with a rape whistle? A feminist.

Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?

So they don't whistle on the way down!

How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blowjob.

What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"

How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?

Take a flute and shove it up your ass.

What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.