Woman jokes

What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?

At least one has a point.

Husband: My wife and I went to the beach today.

Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit.

Husband: The second we entered the beach,

Pedestrians: "TSUNAMI! TSUNAMI!"

Why do women rub their eyebrows? They don't got balls to scratch!

What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?

Cot death.

What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?

Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.

You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.

I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

What wastes your money as you earn it?

Women.

Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.

I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...

my grandfather cant a woman's taco anymore cause his balls fell off from getting to many tacos

Hippity hoppity, women are property.

Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...