Woman jokes
What is a woman's name with one leg?
Eileen.
What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?
Cot death.
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?
Turkish.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
Women should be seen and not heard.
But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?
I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.
Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.
What kind of experience does a feminazi have for being a feminist?
Being a bitch.
What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?
At least one has a point.
Husband: My wife and I went to the beach today.
Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit.
Husband: The second we entered the beach,
Pedestrians: "TSUNAMI! TSUNAMI!"
You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?
Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
What is the autistic woman’s favorite Dorito flavor?
Neurospicy.
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(
What is the difference between a man and a woman packing boxes?
The man says, "I have everything I need."
The woman says, "I love everything I have."
"I'd love to give everyone another shot."
Harry, 26, works at the women's clinic.
What do women and appliances have in common?
If they don't work, hit them until they work.
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."