Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”
Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?" Mommy xays, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play" A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter. Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so l she l took the sissors and cut them off."
What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Suite dreams
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was ‘sleeping with the fishes’. At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
A wife was cleaning 12-year-old son’s bedroom When she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags, she asked her husband, “what do we do?” The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”
A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home. She realizes she's pregnant, and has a baby boy.
The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.
The third year, she's feelling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father1"
Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said don't look down. Timmy looked down. Timmy said "What's that?". Timmy's dad said "that's Mr.wiggles". Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said don't look down. Timmy looked down. Timmy said "What's that?". Timmy's mom said "that's my garden". Timmy's mom said don't look up. Timmy looked up. Timmy said "What are those?". Timmy's mom said those are her headlights. Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said don't look under the covers. Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR.WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room, then my T.V. started to float out the window. I said "drop it nig-"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What plae has more boys than the catholic church? Michael Jackson's bedroom
Daughter: I know this is weird but I feel like that someone is watching me when I am sleeping.
Father: Sorry
Kid: " Mom I had a scary dream can I come sleep with you and dad " Mom: " sure sweetie sleep in the middle " Kid: " Dad can you get the remote out of my back " Dad: " That isn't the remote "
*Weird background music*
