Bedroom jokes

If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.

There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?

You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.

What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school? Was your name in your house? I did not have any good time for dinner today, but I did have a good night's sleep.

I was in the bedroom slapping your girl harder than Will at the Oscars.

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow.

I woke up and my pillow was gone.

One day, Little Johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked, "What is that, Daddy?" Dad said, "Oh, that's my snake." The next day, Little Johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and asks, "What is that?" Mom says, "That's my bushes." The next day, Little Johnny can't sleep, so he goes into his parents' room and asks Dad, "Why is your snake going into Mom's bushes?"

Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?

What does a pillow say when you live for a week? "Don't forget me!"

What is white and fluffy? A peelo.

I am a God. Na, na, na, na, na, na. Yeah.

She's got makeup by the mirror in her bedroom, Thigh-high fishnets and some black boots, Nose pierced with the cigarette perfume, Half dead, but she still looks so cute. She is a monster in disguise, And she knows all the words to the trap songs, Takes pic's with a cherry-red lipstick, Says she only dates guys with a big..., mmm

How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?

She closes the car door.

Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"

Way down South: "You awake, mom?"

"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"

"Shut up and leave the bedroom."

Yo mom's so fat that she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

How to get a girl in three steps:

Step 1: grab a pillow.

Step 2: grab a blanket.

Step 3: keep dreaming.