Woman jokes

She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.

For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.

That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!

Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.

I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.

9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.

"Why?" said her friend.

"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"

"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.

"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."

When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.

A blonde crashes an airplane.

Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?

Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.

Officer: *face palms self*

Also officer: Here's your sign.

I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years old, in the basement, and locked up.

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!

What is the autistic woman’s favorite Dorito flavor?

Neurospicy.

What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?

Turkish.

If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?

Girl: "Dad."

Dad: "Do I love you?"

Girl: "I am a prostitute."

Dad: "Yes."

Woman 2: "Dad."

Dad: "Right?"

Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."

Father: "God, do you love children?"

Boy: "Yes..."

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.

Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.

What kind of experience does a feminazi have for being a feminist?

Being a bitch.

What is a woman's name with one leg?

Eileen.