Woman jokes
What do guns and women have in common?
They both get cocked and loaded.
Okay, guys. Today we're gonna read the Women's Rights of 1920...
Okay, thanks for watching!
What is the difference between a man peering through the keyhole and a woman in the bath?
One is rude and nosy; the other is nude and Rosy.
What's a fat Mexican woman's favorite movie? Tortanic.
A small, nervous woman steps into a hotel elevator in Las Vegas.
At the next floor, three large, burly men step in. The woman is immediately intimidated and clutches her purse tightly.
Suddenly, one of the men says in a deep voice: "Hit the floor!"
Terrified that she is about to be robbed, the woman drops her bags and collapses face down onto the floor of the elevator, cowering in fear.
The men burst out laughing and help the bewildered woman up. The speaker apologizes profusely and says: "No, ma'am, I meant hit the button for our floor!"
The next morning, the woman receives a massive bouquet of roses and has her entire hotel bill paid for. Attached is a note that says: "Thanks for the best laugh I've had in years."
How do you get a trans woman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.
How do you affirm a trans woman's gender?
By kicking him hard in the balls.
"I'd love to give everyone another shot."
Harry, 26, works at the women's clinic.
Why do lesbians have the highest rate of domestic violence?
Because women are emotional and full of drama.
Want to hear a joke?
Women's Rights.
Why are modern women trash?
Because back in the day, a woman knew her place.
The next woman who says she'd rather be alone in the woods with a bear, I'm throwing her in a pit with a bear and making her fight it with a wooden sword while drinking and singing "The Bear and the Maiden Fair."
Women understand each other.
That’s why they argue.
What do women and appliances have in common?
If they don't work, hit them until they work.
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
What is the difference between a man and a woman packing boxes?
The man says, "I have everything I need."
The woman says, "I love everything I have."
What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?
Accountability.
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
How do you get a trans woman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.