Woman jokes

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

One day the teacher said, "There are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. How many are left?" The teacher calls on lil Johnny. "None," the teacher said, "no but try again." Lil Johnny says, "None, because if you shoot one the rest get scared and leave." The teacher said, "Not quite, but I like the way you think."

Lil Johnny then says, "Alright teacher, I have one for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench, one's sucking it, the other is licking it, and the last one is biting it. Which one is married?" The teacher then says, "The one sucking it, of course!" Lil Johnny then says, "No, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think!"

I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.

Sy'kyira (😌): I can't wait for the therapist to come.

Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.

Sy'kyira (😅): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???

Daina (😌): I know, right?

A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.

"Was it hung?" her friend asks.

"No, he was shot."

Your hairline goes back to when Adam and Eve were born.

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?

A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.

Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.

The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.

A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.

Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."

She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.

The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.

He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."

I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.

I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."

Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?

A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.

What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?

Suck a big cock.

What sayd the man to the woman??

Go to the kitchen lol.

123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.

What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?

A roTHOT.

Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.

Women understand each other.

That’s why they argue.

Why are gay men better than straight women?

Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.