Woman jokes

What takes 10 parking spaces? Five women.

Me: What has two legs and bleeds?

Friend: Um, women? Obviously?

Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.

As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”

George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”

Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”

Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.

Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"

Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.

Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?

Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.

Man: Shit!

What does the word circumcise mean?

Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.

How do you know Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?

What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?

Their place.

What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?

Getting her husband's voice just right.

What do you call a crowd of horny white women?

Cotton waiting to be picked.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

There used to be Wonder Woman.

Now we wonder, what is a woman?

What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?

Crack/her

Why do women have two sets of lips?

I kiss both.

Why do women love wind chimes?

They vibrate.

If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.

What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.

What is a girl's favorite song when they are on their period?

"Period, oh period, oww!"

I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.