Woman jokes

97 percent of women...

How are women like swimming pools?

They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.

If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

There used to be Wonder Woman.

Now we wonder, what is a woman?

What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?

Crack/her

Why do women have two sets of lips?

I kiss both.

Dad: Johnny, Johnny?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Getting women?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Telling lies?

Johnny: No, Papa.

Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!

Women in general are jokes.

Gay gang.

Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.

I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.

What about women's lefts?

Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.

What do you call a thirsty girl?

An H2Hoe.

"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."

"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"

Why is life like penises?

Women make it hard.

If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.

What is a girl's favorite song when they are on their period?

"Period, oh period, oww!"

What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"

"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."