Woman jokes
I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.
The Twin Towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine. They both got freed.
What do you call a thirsty girl?
An H2Hoe.
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
97 percent of women...
What do you call a white woman working at an all black company?
Crack/her
How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?
About nine months and a day.
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
There used to be Wonder Woman.
Now we wonder, what is a woman?
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
Cotton waiting to be picked.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?
Their place.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.