Property

Property jokes

Guy

    • A drunk guy is showing friends his new apartment.

    The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.

    "What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.

    "It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."

    "How does it work?"

    The guy picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.

    Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "For God's sake, you asshole, it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"

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    • Cousin

    • My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."

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    • Property memes

    Money

    • It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.

    But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .

    Fire

    • Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

    That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

    Gun

    • If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”