Violence jokes

What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!

Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."

Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.

I don’t like the term "rape," I prefer: "struggle snuggle."

There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.

One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."

The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."

The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"

Go commit neck rope.

Why didn't Logan Paul high five the Asian man? Because he loves to leave Asians hanging.

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.

Rape victims suck, literally.

Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.

Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?

Because it's a battlefield.

I punched my mom for no freaking reason.

How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.

Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?

Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.

What's a knife's favorite person?

The victim.

What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?

A school shooting.

What is a school shooter's favorite animal?

A Desert Eagle.

She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.

1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

- A bus full of children.

2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

- He died of a yeast infection.

3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”

4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.