Violence jokes
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
Memes
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.
I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.
What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?
Nothing, they blew him up.
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
Who are the best at bowling?
Terrorists, they always throw strikes.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
If you’re bored, go punch an orphan. What are the parents gonna do?
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.