Violence jokes
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
What was the last thing to go through JFK's mind?
A bullet.
One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.
I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.
What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.
How do you make a baby cry? You punch it in the face.
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."
So I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
What did the guy tired of hearing people joke about rape do?
He killed everyone on this f#cking website.
About to go on a date.
But she was late.
So I got some tape.
And eventually punished her with rape.
What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises, and has a broken jaw?
"Will you listen now?!??"
What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to ten trees.
My sister said, "Daddy can you pass the salt?" So I raped her.