Onion Jokes

My sister thinks she's so smart. She said, "Onions are the only food that makes you cry." So I threw a coconut at her.

My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

One screams when I peel its skin off.

Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)

I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).

I gathered some "slapies."

The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!

I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!

I feed it to them!

They overreacted!

Please leave a comment.

Bye!

I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions, which made me cry.

Onions was a good dog.

Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.

Until I threw a watermelon in her face.

A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.

The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."

What is the difference between a whore and an onion?

You don't cry when you chop a whore.

I cried when my dad was chopping onions. Onions was a good dog.

I started crying when dad was cutting onions.

Onions was such a good dog.

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?

A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.

My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.

When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨

Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.

What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.

What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.